Everyone needs to make changes in their life sometimes. Whether it be job, relationship or where you live. What I don't understand is how someone that is supposed to love you and support you make choices so difficult.
I have lived in the same county my entire life except for a year when I went away to college. I can't really even consider that moving away because I came home every weekend. I live in such a small town that everyone and their brother know your business and if they don't they will find out by the next day. It's not that I have anything to hide from anyone but anyone that lives like this can tell you that it is frustrating. When you get a call from a friend telling you what they heard about you that day while shopping in the local grocery store. And then of course the next day an acquaintance sees you and says "Oh I saw you yesterday at lunch with so and so" Yeah so? Do you have a point. I know where I was yesterday. If if was so important that I know that you knew where I was yesterday why didn't you stop at my table and say hi? Why wait until the next day to tell me that you saw me. You make me feel like I was doing something wrong or you were spying on me.
Don't get me wrong. I don't completely hate my town there are some good things about it too. Like right now my kids are outside in the neighbors yard and I know they are being watched and nothing is going to happen to them while I'm inside. It's also nice when something horrible happens. People usually come out of the woodwork to help other families in the area when tragedy strikes.
That being said I will go back to my first point I was trying to make before I went off on a tangent. The people that are supposed to love you should support your choices.
I lost my father four years ago and my mother is my life before and especially much more now. When she first move about an hour away from me I didn't get to see her much do to both of us having to work. We still saw each other a lot and I knew if I ever needed her she would be there. More times than not she would come to my house just to sit and chat and visit with the kids. If I needed a babysitter she would come up and either take the kids home with her or stay at my house overnight to watch them for me. My youngest (the only girl) loves her grandma and would move in with her if I let her. My oldest was very close to his grandfather and I know he missed him every day. He in turn became closer to my mother and would also live with her if I let him. While this upsets me to know my children would move in with my mother I know it isn't because they don't love me it's because they love her so much.
Recently she decided she was moving to Florida. 1300 miles away from us. She asked us if we would go and of course I said "Yes I would love to". I have never liked winter and snow and would love to live somewhere warm. The kids were of course all for it. When I talked to my husband he said "NO" right off the bat and wouldn't even talk to me about it. Thinking maybe if I did some research he might change his mind, I looked into jobs and schools down there and found some amazing jobs and schools. There are so many more opportunities for us as a family there than there will ever be here. Remember we live in a small town where the most excitement we had was when Walmart opened a few years ago.
I went down and took a civil service test for a position that I wanted and when I came home he still said no but couldn't give me a reason. After trying to talk to him several times he finally told me that he wouldn't go because his oldest son is still here and won't graduate for another two years. I half understand that answer because I would never leave my children. The problem with his reason is the fact that he only sees that son once maybe twice a month if we're lucky. He lives about 2 hours away from us and is getting old enough now that he doesn't want to come for weekend visits due to friends at home and other things he has going on. My second problem with this is that when his son graduates he plans to move away anyway. And by that time our oldest will be a freshman in high school and probably will fight us and not want to leave his friends. My answer to his reason. I have a friend that works for an airline that gets discount tickets and can fly him down to visit or my husband back up here any time they want. This was not good enough for him.
It has been two and a half months now since my mom moved and I have been lucky enough so far to get to see her twice. Once when I went down to take the civil service test and then I was able to take all my kids down to visit her for their spring break. It was harder the second time leaving her knowing that I wouldn't get to see her until June. Luckily I have gotten a call from another employer down there that needs me to come in and take a test for them. I know at this point everyone is think 'Why waste your time'. Well because I'm still trying to talk him into it. I'm hoping that if I'm offered a job and he sees how happy it will make the rest of the family he will go.
What I don't understand and what he won't explain to me is why (beyond leaving his son who's going to leave us in two years) doesn't he want to go. He comes home every day complaining that he hates his job and doesn't get paid enough. I am the one that has an awesome job that I would be leaving and miss but I want to be with my mother more than I want to keep this job. He does have family here that he very rarely sees and doesn't get along with half the time. My mother is my only family and I don't know how to get him to see that he is making me choose between the two of them.
I have even offered to take a leave of absence from my job instead of resigning so that if we don't like it down there we can come back and I will still have my job. Am I being unreasonable asking him to do this for our family?
To anyone that stuck with me and read this whole blog. Thank you and sorry for rambling. I just needed to get that off my chest. I know I'm asking him for a lot but she's my mom and she's the only family I have. It's not just for me. It's to make life better for the entire family.